There are days...

There are days when the sun is brilliant...the air seem 100% pure...and life is wonderful..... Suddenly I'm in a long tunnel and the brilliance of the sun is so distant that it seems as though I'll never get to touch it again...  For me normality is a fleeting fantasy....something never to be achieved only to be dreamed of...... But look out my journey through the tunnel is not without it's high points...music keeps me going...keeps me centered....there is always that small voice that keeps saying..."hang on just a little longer..this will soon end". Sometimes I listen to that voice and sometimes I try to silence it...drown it out with other thoughts too dark to talk about......

Today was ok...

Today was ok... My "adopted" dog had puppies..four...they're small so I don't know the sex of them all yet...but they look cute....I think maybe the cat and kittens are jealous of the attention the dogs are getting... Cooking dinner(stew) ...New recipe....

From the mind of BPD

For as long as I can remember I've been depressed...I honestly couldn't say why...the constant up and down if my moods were a source of heartache for me...I would cry uncontrollably one minute the singing a few hours after as if the sun were sitting in my room, then without warning I'd lock myself in my room and not want any human contact...then there were my suicide days..I even tried once, but it didn't work....It doesn't help that I cant keep a steady job as I don't well under stress...Trust me my life has not been a bed of roses...meds...ha!!!! They only enrich the pharmaceutical industry as I still struggle to stay afloat in this cold world... http://ilivewithit.blogspot.com/2015/01/for-as-long-as-i-can-remember-ive-been.html

For as long as I can remember I've been depressed...I honestly couldn't say why...the constant up and down if my moods were a source of heartache for me...I would cry uncontrollably one minute the singing a few hours after as if the sun were sitting in my room, then without warning I'd lock myself in my room and not want any human contact...then there were my suicide days..I even tried once, but it didn't work....It doesn't help that I cant keep a steady job as I don't well under stress...Trust me my life has not been a bed of roses...meds...ha!!!! They only enrich the pharmaceutical industry as I still struggle to stay afloat in this cold world...